“Dog Day Afternoon” is not the movie you think it is. At first glance, you may think it is a film about the afternoon festivities of the widely celebrated (and by “widely celebrated” I mean “I’m pretty sure it doesn’t exist”) Dog Day. If this is your first thought, you’re not alone. (Symbolically speaking, I mean. I don’t have the slightest idea what your living situation is.) But upon further arduous research (i.e. urban dictionary) one may find that the phrase “Dog Day” actually just means an uncomfortably warm day. So at this point, you may think the title says that what you should take away from this movie is that it takes place on a really hot day. And you would be correct in this assumption. But now I’mma drop a bomb on you, playas: there’s no dogs in this movie. I just wanna warn you of this before we continue lest you watch this film and say to me, “Colin! There were no DOGS in this movie! Why, oh why did you not mention this?” This is a real fear I have.
Anyway, this movie has some fun little things you aren’t going to see in any other movie:
1. I’m pretty sure this movie holds the record for most cops in a Barbershop at one time.
I’m also pretty sure as they were running out, they were saying “Bank! (bank)! Bank! BANKBANK! (bank, wop!) Bank! Watch the bank! (bank bank!) BANK!” kinda like if they were Pokemon and their name was “Bank.”
Also, that might have not happened.
2. This movie answers the age old question of what would happen is Al Pacino and Burt from sesame street robbed a bank.
Answer: a movie devoid of dogs.
3. We finally get to see Al Pacino’s “I-don’t-know-how-to-fucking-rob-a-bank-how-the-fuck-did-this-fucking-happen!?” face.
Also his sex face.
4. We learn Burt from Sesame Street is not a one-trick pony!
…Everyone was thinking it. I just said it.
In all honesty though, this movie explores some really interesting themes. The cult of celebrity, societal failure, stockholm syndrome, gay rights, desperation. All these things are explored coyly and tenderly, allowing the viewer to draw their own conclusions about what drove this man to such an extreme act.
Lovely reader: Oh, Colin. Did you really think you could slip that by me?
Lovely me: Whatever could you mean, my dearest reader?
Lovely reader: You thought if you buried gay rights in that list I wouldn’t say “wait, what?” and you wouldn’t have to go into it.
Lovely me: Oh, my dear reader! You read me like a book!
……
Okay, so I could have made that transition a little smoother.
But yes! Gay rights are explored! Sort of…I mean, I won’t go into it because it ruins the movie. If you see it, don’t read the fucking Netflix synopsis because it gives away the fucking movie. Fucking Netflix.
I would like to remark upon how this particular crime movie strays from the path of the more formulaic dramas. All other crime movies kinda go like this:
Oh, hey! I’m just a crime movie, hanging out. Oh, whoa! Look at me! Someone has committed a crriiiiiimee! Looks like we’re gonna have to get our best guy on it. The police captain gets Detective Flannery (always ALWAYS Irish) to head it up. He’s not traditional, but goddamit he gets results! And so he tries to catch the bad guy but WHAT’S THIS?! The cop in question has a…TROUBLED PAAAAST!? (I agonized whether or not to capitalize “troubled past” for fear that you would see it before the paragraph was through and thus the joke be ruined. I took a risk.)
While that is the normal formula for crime movies, Dog Day Afternoon goes more like this:
Normal crime drama, normal crime drama, normal crime drama BAM Gay marriage and Sex Changes! Huh!? What now, sucka? Bruce Willis ain’t here to comfort you, BITCH!
(Earlier when I said Burt was a one trick pony, I didn’t literally mean he was a pony. I wanted to clear that up.)
This movie also had some pretty great shots of people talking about a bank robbery.
This picture makes me think of that song that goes like I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO WHAT YOU DOOO. I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOOOOU! JUST KEEPS GETTIN’ BEEEETTEEER!
Also, this movie is brought to you by TAAAAAAAAB!
In all seriousness, this movie, while a tired idea, brings something new to a stale genre. Al Pacino gives a stupendous performance while Burt from sesame street is notably weird and sweaty. Also, it contains possibly the best conversation about Wyoming in any movie of all time:
Al Pacino: What country do you want to go to?
Burt from Sesame Street: …Wyoming.
Al Pacino: ….
Burt from Sesame Street: …..
Al Pacino: …Wyoming’s not a country…
Wyoming wins for the first time EVEREEER.
3.8/5
links!
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/dog_day_afternoon/
http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/Dog-Day-Afternoon/450423?trkid=1544507
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